Back again

Along the coastal village in Batam

I know I was gone for quite some time. A lot of things happening all around the world, that it feels so overwhelming. But I’m back here again. Trying my best to sit still with my endless thoughts and trying to construct it into sentences that makes sense.

I do not have any audience here apart from those who stumbled upon my click and grow posts. I am feeling hopeless in regards to this space. The internet world is full of noises, and I do not feel like contributing to it with my subjective (sometimes baseless) opinions.

I paid for this blog but I have failed to utilise this space. I was busy and distracted. In fact, I am getting very good at distracting myself. Netflix, HBO and Amazon Prime has provided me the virtual adventure that I was too afraid to embark on. The dramas and characters of the show helped me experience a range of feelings safely. Yes, safely. Because despite the hurt, rage or grief that they experienced, I am able to feel every of it freely, knowing that I would bear no real consequences. When the theme song start and the credits roll in, I knew those feelings would end then.

Other than that, I keep purchasing stuffs online with the excuse of trying to live better. So much for being a ‘budding minimalist’. Consistency is something I struggle with. Something that prevents me from getting closer to my goals. Ironically, it’s contradicting one of my values of wanting my life to be free and fluid. That’s freedom. Always adapting and going with the flow, ideally.

If you happen to read this post and feel connected to it, do drop a comment or an email. I would love to connect with you. As for the future of this blog, I have decided to continue to keep it open. Nothing too curated, keeping it raw. If I ever post reviews on a product or service, take note that it is not sponsored. I have to intention of influencing people to buy more but rather, to reflect on my mistake/decision on such purchases.

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